I feel as if I have been going through a particularly reclusive period. The energy required for the interactions with people is just too great. So I wait in the car for the children instead of going in to wait outside their classrooms. I let Daniel talk to people if someone goes somewhere or one of their friends comee to our house. I give people his phone number when I am required to give a number for something. It worries me sometimes that people will think I am rude or uninterested in them but I don’t know what I can do about that. I need my insulation, isolation, and I guess if people don’t like that then I don’t really want to talk to them when I poke my head out of my shell.

I have been scolded for not recording some of the kid-isms that I relate to my mother ;P So here are a few:

A little while ago they started school banking at Abigail and Kristian’s school. Each time they make a deposit they get a reward token and recently they both had enough tokens to choose a reward. Kristian got a calculator. He’s incredibly pleased with it. He likes to do random calculations and then come and show you the result. He asks what a number is and I have to translate it to words for him… Eighty-seven million, six hundred and fifty-four thousand, three hundred and twenty-one. Sometimes he ends up with tiny decimals or exponent answers and I just tell him it’s either a really big number or a really small number. When he first got it, he was generous enough to allow each of us to have a turn using his calculator. Usually I will try out the π button or the buttons if I am just messing with a calculator but because his is just a basic one, it doesn’t have those buttons. In that case, I improvise. 22 ÷ 7. I gave him back his calculator. “What is that?” he asks me. “Pi,” I tell him. “It’s a special number. If you have a piece of string that is from the middle of a circle to the outside, and then you wrap it around the outside of the circle, you will need that many of them to go all the way around – a bit more than three.” I could see him and Abigail considering this a moment, and then they both agreed that it was “Cool.”

A couple of days later I heard Kristian talking to Stephanie about his calculator. He’d paid attention to the way I got pi to show on the screen and took pleasure in coming to show me sometimes that he knew how to do that now. He showed Stephanie, and she asked him what it was. I’m certain I heard him roll his eyes as he answered her. “It’s pi!” (Duh! Don’t you learn anything in grade 7?) Then he explained to her how you got it to show on the screen. He is very much like me in that he only needs to hear information like that once and he will retain it forever. Obviously he hasn’t yet learned that most people’s brains don’t work the same way. I know I’ve talked to Stephanie about pi before and explained what the use of it is, but it hasn’t been important enough for her to commit it to memory. Kristian assumes that because he has learned about something, Stephanie should know it because she is older than him and should therefore have encountered this information before. And having encountered it, it should be stored in her brain.

It is interesting to see how children assume that their experience of the world is ‘normal’ and the same as what everyone else experiences, and then realising as they learn more that it is not necessarily the case.



we are getting ready to move. our current abode has (probably) been sold and the new owners want to live in it themselves. we’ve found a new place which is closer to the school so that is good. there’s a huge yard for the expenditure of energy and a big space behind the garage that can be used for storage or a play area. or both.
the actual process of getting packed up and cleaned out and making sure that all of the relevant people and companies have been told is giving me some anxiety. i am trying to do the best I can at keeping that away by doing as much as i can to get ready. children are being encouraged to sort through their own things but are for the most part uninterested. abigail says it’s ‘boring’ and kristian seems to feel his time is better spent redecorating the walls. with his textas. i have confiscated his textas.

now i ran out of time, i was writing this on my phone while i waited to pick the kids up from school.


satellites with rings

Interesting conversation with Kristian yesterday afternoon while we were waiting outside the school for the girls.
(K is Kristian, J is me and M is my mother.)

K: I can see two moons in the sky!
J: That’s interesting..
M: yes .. especially since this planet only has one moon.
K: I can see TWO moons!
J: Are you sure they’re both moons?
K: Yes.
J: (partly to self) “That’s no moon..”
K: Yes, there are two moons.
J: Oh.
K: What do you think it is?
J: Oh, I thought maybe it was a Death Star.
K: What?
J: A Death Star.
K: A dead star?
M: Death Star.
K: It’s not a dead star.
J: Not dead, Death! Death Star.
K: A deaf star?
Now we are becoming somewhat amused.
M: No, not a deaf star. That would be a star that couldn’t hear. A Death Star.
K: A Jeff star?
M: Yes, it’s a Jeff star.
K: I can see one moon and one Jeff star! … When’s Abigail going to come out?

And some grown-up embarrasment thanks to Stephanie. She was tidying up the dining table that had become somewhat swamped in kid’s belongings and scraps of paper and things. And apparently one such scrap left behind by an adult. I was in the kitchen and she walks in holding up a small piece of card. “Do you need this?” she asks.

I look, and squint to figure out what it is. It’s the insert from the packet of something that Daniel bought a month or two ago came in. I only read as far as the words “Cock Ring”. Oh my god. “No, put it in the bin,” I tell her in a rush, trying to seem casual.

She leans over and puts it in the bin and I start to breathe a sigh of relief. That could have been awkward. But then she turns back around. “What’s a cock ring?”

SHITE! “Er.. nothing. Just nevermind.”

“Should I look it up on Google?”

“NO!” I all but yell, picturing the kind of results you’d get for that particular search. “NO! Do not do that.” Fuck a duck. I sigh. “It’s… a thing for grown-ups.”

“Oh.” She gets an embarrased look on her face and rapidly goes away. Hooray for ten-year-olds being embarrased by the thought of sex.

satellites with rings


last week kristian asked me to get him a drink of apple juice. I told him that i would in just a minute and he wandered off doing whatever he wad doing. so I got up and made the drink for him and left it on the bench. a few minutes later I vaguely noticed him come back to the kitchen and have some of his drink and then head back towards what he was doing. but then he paused in the entrance to the kitchen and, like it was a kind of afterthought, told me, “i told you to get me a drink of apple shoes, mummy… well done.”
and continued on his merry way.

my new favourite quote thing is about “lobbing ‘nades at team jacob” from this week’s bff report. srsly. I don’t often watch those kind of articles on the wowhead blog but I was interested to see the new worgen stuff and i chuckled to myself all day about the twilight joke, silly though it was. (i’ll definitely have to check out next week’s bff report though, coz it’s goblins! can’t wait to roll me a goblin!)

i’ve been fuelling the twilight obsession by reading, um, unofficial additional material. there is some extremely strange shite out there. i’m talking about when you follow a link from somewhere to a different story only to find that the main relationship depicted is, say, edward and jasper, and yes, it goes there. that is not kosher. i don’t necessarily have a problem with slash, though i don’t really get the appeal, but i generally don’t care for non-canon pairings. perhaps because i get attached to the characters when i read, and when i have exhausted all canon sources for a particular series but i am not ready to move onto different characters, that is when i look at the fanfics. i want more of the people I have become attached to and when people write ‘alternate universe’ or ‘all human’ or ‘all muggle’ or non-canon relationships, it’s not a continuation of the story or a filling in of missing parts to the story, it’s.. using the names of characters that people already like so that they will read your story which doesn’t actually have anything to do with what they were looking for in the first place. it makes me feel misled and annoyed.
anyway. i was going to say that the people who are writing the twilight ff need to really give the word irrevocably a break. it was different and highlighted the whole ‘past the point of no return’ feeling the first time but when i see it used time after time after time…. come on, get a damn thesaurus, people.
i do have one non-canon pairing that i approve of, and that is sirius and remus. i love tonks and all, but i really thought it should have been moony and padfoot 4 eva. ;P
if you’re into it, you should check out this parody fic, funny shite. Nessie, or Renesmee, as absolutely no one called her ever because it is the single worst name in the history of the universe, even worse than “Blandina” which is actually the name of the patron saint of those falsely accused of cannibalism, and also worse than “Albus Severus” no matter what you might think, had demanded that she make friends. mostly twilight but has references to harry potter and other stuff, especially other vampire genres.

i have made a terrible error, in that i am too prepared for an upcoming event and now i must face temptation even greater than the scent of bella’s blood for the next 30 days. the upcoming event? a birthday. the error? i bought a present. it’s a re……AGGHHHHHH! NO! MUST RESIST!!! allow me to go fling myself against the far wall…

tomorrow, my mother and i are going to begin painting the town red. well, actually, not so much red really, as i’m not a huge fan of red and i don’t think her design contains great amounts of it either. and it’s not the whole town, just two parts of it. traffic boxes! and the best part is that we get to paint over the top of stuff done by the guy who stole our first box. i shall take great pleasure in painting over his name, so much so that i might even do it twice. so there.

and for a final bit of random, what is with the names of the dk minions? they totally suck. instead of stupid things like tombcrawler and wormslither could we maybe get some motherfuckers and arsekickers? i’m sure all the mobs would be much more scared and die much more quickly if they were being attacked by risen dead with somewhat less lame names.



yesterday on the way home after picking kristian up from kinder, he and Abby were chatting and I was sort of chatting, sort of not, since I was driving.
then he made an announcement. “i can’t move my penis.”
is there something wrong with my ears? “what?”
very calmly, “i can’t move my penis.”
uhh.. “um.. well you don’t really need to move it right now do you?” i glanced in my little mirror to see what kind of expression he had.
he seemed to think about it for a moment and then shook his head and grinned and then they moved on to a totally different topic, as if that had not been an incredibly weird conversation.

on tuesday I had to take my grandmother to dora’s mcdonalds so that my auntie could meet us there and take here the rest of the way home after she stayed at the weekend to look after the kids while I took my mum to the hospital. the car was a little bit messy but I didn’t tidy it up. I did that on purpose. a bit of rebellion. I also had the cd player going on my standard cd that has a bunch of mp3s on it. it generally plays through in order and happened to be near the start, on alanis. briefly I wondered whether or not I should skip ahead or turn it off, because I don’t have the clean radio edits. but I was apparently having a very provocative day because I left it to play through at least two songs that had words I would not generally use in conversation with my grandmother. it felt quite invigorating.. to not do what I thought would be expected or ‘appropriate’. maybe next time I’ll even go one better and borrow some of daniel’s kevin bloody wilson or weird al songs. those would be really shocking. haha.
but at nearly 30 i think I should be able to not change things about myself just because a grandparent is around. so I was pleased with myself, because that kind of thing does not always come easily to me.

speaking of nearly 30, i’ve been giving serious thought to getting myself a tattoo for my birthday. it’s something that I have wanted to do for a long time but I didn’t know if I was brave enough. I think I might be, now. I think it will probably be something kind of Celtic style, and I am leaning towards having it on my inner wrist. if you know any good places with tattoo designs, tell me the url!