In a couple of hours, the result of this thing will be announced.
I was trying to explain this to Daniel last night. About why I feel scared. He sees things in very black and white terms, and his opinion is that it doesn’t matter what the result is anyway, because all the matters is what the few super rich people who support the politicians want. And while he may be correct about it “not mattering” in the whole non-binding part of it; and possibly also correct in that those rich people who talk into the ears of the politicians may influence any possible legislation that they try to make… it does matter.
It matters to me, and so very many people. Not the law part, but the “opinion” part.
If you remove any religious arguments, because we are a secular society; and you discard anything that is related to child-rearing, because in the 21st century parenting happens in many different forms and many of them are not a formal marriage between a man and a woman…. then you are left with the simple fact that marriage is a legal state which confers many benefits and which de-facto relationships have been clearly demonstrated to not give you… and some people are allowed the privilege of this status and some people are not. Fixing that should not be a matter of opinion.
We just want it done.
But in forcing this opinion poll, we are now forced to have a loud and public record of what the entire country thinks about gay people and their families. You can’t avoid the result, because it will be everywhere.
But what if we don’t want to know? Sometimes you purposely don’t ask a question if you don’t want to know the answer. Of if you are worried that the answer might be something you don’t like or can’t handle, that might hurt you or make you sad or angry or anything else. Sometimes it is easier and more peaceful to just live, and surround yourself with like-minded people and shut out all the others.
That choice has been taken away here.
I don’t think I’d be ready to ask, if it was up to me.
That’s why I’m scared. Because I don’t feel ready to know the result.
It’s a yes from me.
By this point, a week before the end of voting closes, I’m really kind of fed up of the whole thing. Actually, not ‘kind of’.. I am fed up. It’s exhausting experiencing all of the things that one is prompted to feel when seeing people energetically and eagerly supporting and encouraging others to support the Yes campaign, and it is exhausting and disheartening and frustrating experiencing all of the feels when you see some of the incredibly mean-spirited and outright false stuff that the No campaign are saying in their attempt to convince people that they’re right. Even more frustrating and incomprehensible is that people actually seem to believe some of the patently ludicrous stuff they are putting out there.
And while I want to hope that change will happen, I have waited for too long and seen too many people say and do cruel and damaging things to LGBTQI+ people and their allies for far too long to actually believe that it will. Seen too many times where it seems like a problem has an obviously better and more humanitarian solution and people keep choosing the other thing. See the reality that the government could have just fixed this without having to spend a fuckload of money on a non-compulsory, non-binding opinion poll that’s given all the people who hate gays the opportunity to shout their propaganda as loudly as they want and it’s fucking fine because it’s their opinion and they have a right to campaign for what they believe and you have to respect that. But they didn’t.
And actually, no. I don’t have to respect your opinion. I respect your equal right (somebody fetch Alanis) in our society to have and even express an opinion; that does not mean I must respect whatever opinion it is that you hold. There’s a big difference. Further to that, while I agree that you can have your opinion and even that you should be able to express it without fear of persecution, I don’t believe that your right to do it means that you should do it. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all. Shortcomings in the rabbit’s grammar aside, isn’t this still a valuable lesson to hold and practise? Just because something is your opinion does not give it some kind of sacred status that absolves you of the basic obligation not to hurt other human beings with your words and/or actions, nor can you rebrand false information as an opinion to magically make it a truth. Lies are lies, there is no ambiguity about it. They are not “alternative facts” or “opinions,” and trying to claim that they are is clutching at straws trying to justify your lies in order that you don’t get called out for it.
But when it all comes down to it, I just simply do not understand why the prospect of two people who love each other being able to marry each other is such a threat to some. It changes exactly nothing about any other existing or future marriage or relationship, it only makes a difference to the (potential) spouses in question and their nearest and dearest. I saw one person claim that she was going to vote no because one of the reasons people were saying you should vote yes is because LGBTQI+ people and young ones especially were at significantly greater risk of experiencing depression or attempting suicide, but getting married is not going to change that so it’s really not a good reason to vote yes. How can a person be so willfully and blatantly disingenuous? Of course getting married is not a cure for mental health issues and no one is fucking claiming that it is. What it does do is helps to remove part of the reason people end up feeling that way in the first place, i.e. that they are continually shown that they and their relationships hold less value to the community than those of straight people.
Anyway. It’s not like I’m saying anything new or even unique. Millions of us feel the same way and millions of us have two more weeks to wait to see how this shitshow turns out. And then to see what the inept twats in our government are going to do with the outcome of this not-sticky shitshow. It’s such a festive time of year.
Here’s more I wrote earlier on the topic.